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katehaney

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06:00 am: gender
I dunno where he gets it, but Teddy has started making gender-related pronouncements.

"Pink is for girls!" This is not something I have ever said. Even Peter, who has some old-fogey gender-based beliefs, thinks that color assignment is stupid. I figure Teddy must have picked this up from some kid at school. I want to buy Teddy a pink t-shirt or something, but the things I've come across (granted, not looking very hard) have been frilly. If he wants frilly, I'll get him frilly, but I thought I'd try just plain ol' pink.

"When my legs get hairy, I need to shave them. Boys shave their legs when they get hairy." er... I suppose some boys do. Competitive swimmers do, but most boys don't shave their legs, sweetheart. And many girls don't either. Mommy is just a tiny bit obsessive.

"When I'm a big boy, I'm going to have a baby in my belly." I'm sorry, sweetie, but only women can have babies in their bellies. "What about that man! He had a baby in his belly!" Well, he's mostly a man. He thinks about himself as a man. He looks like a man. But he was born a woman, and he still has a uterus, so he can have a baby. But he's the only one so far. Most men can't have babies.

I don't know if my parents had to deal with questions about colors or shaving, but I'm pretty sure neither I nor my siblings ever made them explain a story about a transgendered man giving birth. By the time questions about whether Renée Richards could compete in women's tennis came around, we were old enough to read the stories ourselves.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: goodgood

Comments

From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 4th, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
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It never occurred to any of you that those questions were even possible! The only one I clearly remember was when your grandmother said someone in the news was a lesbian (she was surprised to see that information), your sister, then 7, said "Who does she lesbe with?" Our biggest concern was to educate you all toward acceptance of activity of any sort was human-, not gender-based. So boys could shave their legs, but most don't. It was a VERY different world.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 4th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)

You're my role models

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Y'all did awesome on that kind of stuff... both gender stuff and sex stuff. I don't remember ever discussing any of it (though surely we must have), yet I knew that anything that people wanted to do that didn't hurt anyone (between consenting adults, etc.) was ok, that what people did together was private - in a not-your-business good, not a keep-it-secret bad, way.

And of course it was quite obvious that sometimes Mommies are breadwinners and Daddies are cooks and that everybody should be able to take care of him or herself, cooking and shopping and cleaning and doing laundry and earning and everything.

Awesome job.
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