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katehaney

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03:25 pm: Struggling with something ugly (long and rambling... 'cause that's what a struggle is)
Someone on the (inter)national dance scene has been convicted of possession of child pornography. I don't know all the details, but I feel just sick about it.

This is a guy who has a skeevy vibe. Someone posted on a dance board that "you're invisible to him if you're over 30," which is definitely true (and if you're over 30 and fat, you're even more invisible). He definitely had a hankering for younger girls, though I never saw him do or heard him say anything untoward. (Some others claim to have seen inappropriate behavior, but not with minors.)

Hell, I'm married to a guy 16 years younger than I, so I can hardly judge someone for having similar taste.

Too, he's nearly 60 and he definitely flirted with teenagers and dated women at least a couple decades younger than he, which I think is rather different from having one, serious relationship with someone 16 years younger.

OTOH, some people would disagree. :shrug:

But I did warn young women about him (and other skeevy men, old or young, of which there are more than their proportional share on the social dance scene).

And I was (and am) older than most of the men on the dance scene, and I'm sure I flirted with plenty of them. Being as oblivious as I am, I probably would not have recognized it as flirting, which wouldn't be an excuse if one were required, which I don't think it is because a big part of dancing could be defined as flirting, which after all was why I was there.* And if I flirted, I did it as much with women as men, and try as I might, I'm just not attracted to women.

Anyway.

When I first heard about this guy's conviction, I felt as if I'd been abetting him somehow, by not... I don't know not what. Being more proactive? I did warn women about him, so I did know he was sketchy. But what else should I have done? Anything? I'm not sure.

(Peter's response - "of you course you weren't an accessory! don't be ridiculous!" - is a shitty [edited from "rare," which alas isn't true] combination of true and completely useless. :sigh: )

Almost 30 years ago, I was the victim of an attempted sexual assault, and parts of that experience linger on. I'm very protective of women, particularly young ones. My "don't fuck with me" vibe is apparently strong and unrelenting. I'm a raging mother lion with children.

I'm also someone who very stubbornly refuses to judge people without full facts. I drove friends and acquaintances nuts by refusing to talk about - let alone condemn - OJ Simpson or Michael Jackson. (This hearkens back to a junior high school assignment, in which I researched the Sam Sheppard story and was appalled at the negative effect of media attention on the execution of justice.)

This man, however, has been convicted. Not by a jury of his peers, but by pleading guilty to lesser counts to receive a reduced sentence. A polygraph showed that he had not had any inappropriate physical contact with minors, which is certainly better than the reverse (though polygraph evidence is not, afaik, admissible in court, and for good reason). He admitted that he had those images on his computer and that he knew he had them (in addition to others that he'd deleted but that court officers were able to trace... so he is criminally stupid if nothing else; but unfortunately there is plenty of "else").

(I believe this would be approximately equivalent to the guy who attempted to rape me pleading "sufficient facts," and I know absolutely that he was guilty as charged.)

The whole thing makes me sick, as nothing but crimes against children can.

I'm not sure how to react to the reactions, either. Some people are supporting him (though not, afaik, defending his actions), in part, it seems, because he's a wonderful teacher, which to me makes any suspicions worse... this is someone who has had a great deal of contact with young women in his career. Sanctioned contact with young women.

I feel sick.


* And will be again, dammit.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated

Comments

[User Picture]
From:swingchickie
Date:January 17th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
(Link)
oh, i think i know exactly who you're talking about. how did you find out, and who in the world is defending him?
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:January 17th, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)

not defending, *supporting* BB

(Link)
Or so they say. It's on Yehoodi if you want more details. A dancer/mother sent me the link in FB.

"He's a good person and a great teacher and he deserves our support."

Um... NO. A big fat NO NO NO he does NOT deserve our support. He's been convicted of a crime that directly supports (requires!) the sexual exploitation of children. He does NOT deserve support. He deserves the prison sentence that he has received and begun serving (I assume, as it was to start January 15).
[User Picture]
From:swingchickie
Date:January 18th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)

Re: not defending, *supporting* BB

(Link)
ugh, no is right.

starting to read the yehoodi thread, i had mixed feelings... i don't download porn from the internet, so i had no idea that porn could be "batch downloaded" like that... i thought, "Well, maybe there's a chance that he didn't know those images were in there." then i read the transcript of his e-mail, a few times, and that line he wrote that he had deleted some of the images but knew there were others in there is what hit home for me. ugh.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:January 18th, 2010 01:59 am (UTC)

over 300 images isn't a mistake, it's a PROBLEM

(Link)
Totally agree with you there. ICK ICK ICK.
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