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katehaney

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08:38 pm: Teddy the Perpetually Cautious
Teddy gets noticeably better with each skating class but he will not retire the walker. He did try skating without it a couple of times today (and did quite well, too), but went back to it each time.

:sigh:

The thing is, he's generally very good at knowing when he's ready for something. He didn't climb furniture until he was fully capable of getting on and off it. He didn't jump off the starting blocks into the pool until he felt really ready (and now it's his favorite part of swimming lessons). He didn't potty train or wean or ride a bike until he was good and ready. And then each went quickly and smoothly.

He's also not particularly susceptible to peer pressure, which I usually like, though that means it's ineffective as a tool to get him to try things. No, he won't jump off a bridge because his friends are, but he also won't, I dunno, skate because they are either.

And this skating thing? It's getting frustrating. He shrugged off help from two coaches early in the class today. After I spoke to him (rather harshly, as my patience was wearing as thin as my voice) about how coaches will help him to be a better skater faster, he did let two others help him. And he did do better.

And went right back to the walker.

It might be one of those things that goes better when I'm not there. He seemed to make a special point of falling and not being able to get up when he was right in front of me (he had a lot less trouble when he was at the other end of the rink). Maybe Peter can take him next week and see what happens. Dunno.

On the one hand, I want to pick him up every time he falls, brush off his knees and place him ever-so-gently back on his feet and hold him until he's ready to start again.

On the other hand, I wanna kick him (ever-so-gently, of course) in the butt and tell him to quit the histrionics.

:sigh:

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: sicksick

Comments

From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 6th, 2012 05:23 am (UTC)

My oldest is like this

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Seriously. My 12 year old is just like this. And he's been like this since he was a toddler. As soon as HE decides he can do it, he will. But up to that point, there's no talking him into it. I wish that I had some wise words. The only thing that I can say, is that you really need to praise him when he DOES mess up. Kyle is so afraid of failing, that he won't try new things AT ALL. I wish that we would have been more positive when he took risks that failed, and let him know that it's okay to "fall down" because then you can just dust yourself off and try again. Try not to show your exasperations (and I KNOW how hard that is... still is....), and let him move at his own pace with gentle prods from you. Ken has discovered that Kyle does better without him around too.

But on a positive note, I don't really worry about him with peer pressure, drinking, drugs. I have questions with the other two, but Kyle will not get mixed up with that anytime in the near future (at least IMNSHO).

Lori
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From:katehaney
Date:February 6th, 2012 02:22 pm (UTC)

YES! It's not just us!

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That is such a relief. In a world of daredevils and scofflaws, there are at least TWO little boys who hold back.

Good point about the fear of failure. Teddy's shown some of that, too, and we try to make sure he knows that we value the effort more than the outcome.

This parenting stuff is hard.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 7th, 2012 08:23 pm (UTC)

Re: YES! It's not just us!

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Oh Kate... this parenting stuff does NOT get any easier. It just changes. And as the kids get bigger, they have an even bigger opinion (babies/toddlers might squawk, but tweens and teens use words - with tween/teen logic ;-) AND they're bigger than you!).

Lori :-)
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 7th, 2012 08:28 pm (UTC)

eek! bigger than me!

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egads, hadn't thought of that. Geez.
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