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katehaney

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07:04 pm: more of Chookooloonks' prompts
So much for my plan to keep up with those, eh? Oh well, here are the few that remain.

Day 8: Change
This hasn't been a huge year for change for us. OK, so I started a new job, managing people again for the first time in (holy crap) more than a decade. And I still love it. Teddy finished first grade and started second. Teddy's getting better at adapting to change, which is nice. We still try to help him along, give him warnings about what's coming, try to be patient when he struggles... and he's getting easier with it. Cool.

Day 9: Tradition
Peter didn't grow up with Thanksgiving, so our traditions either came from my family or are things we've established together. We go to my folks' house, we prepare, we eat, we hang out, we visit, we eventually return home, laden with leftovers. Our family and friends make a bunch of traditional-traditional things (turkey, 'taters, pies) and a few Haney-traditional things (Nantucket Reds, lemon bread, a lot more pie). We start later than planned. We argue about what's excessive (we never have to argue about anything that we don't have enough of - does not ever happen) and what to change next year. It's always been one of my favorite holidays.

Day 10: Family & Friends
I wish I'd written this before Thanksgiving. We had a very atypical holiday that changed my feelings about some of our traditions. There are always underlying tensions of various sorts whenever the family gets together, but they usually stay contained through the holiday itself (they do erupt before and after). In the past 20 years or so, we've always celebrated with our own family and various members of one other family in particular. They're dear people. They have their own foibles and tensions, of course, but they feel like family too.

But this year, the matriarch's dementia has really hit. And it turns out that alcohol and dementia are not good together. She was bad and destructive and mean and horribly insulting and made the whole day awful (she usually offends one person on any given holiday; this Thanksgiving, she offended all of us). Much as the adults among us understand that she can't control herself and probably doesn't even remember what she said, none of us wants her back. She's just not fit for company.

That makes me really sad, though it will be a relief to have somewhat smaller celebrations.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
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