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katehaney

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05:00 pm: well, that was a big mistake...
Teddy and I went to the Heart Association walk today downtown. Apparently my response to the invitation -- "I won't know if I can go until the last minute" -- was translated to "here are your t-shirts and we ordered your lunches," so we kinda had to go.

I was a bit nervous about the overlap with Teddy's naptime, but envisioned something like this:
- Teddy and I have a leisurely walk from the garage to the Hatch Shell, enjoying the cool, fresh air.
- I enjoy a perambulation of the short route (1 mile), in the company of some of my colleagues, while Teddy naps.
- We spread out our blanket and have a lovely picnic, again in the company of my colleagues. I've brought some organic snacks for Teddy, in case the company-supplied lunch is inappropriate.
- Teddy and I do a little exploring by the river, while one of my thoughtful colleagues watches the snazwah stroller (the cheap-o stroller being insufficient for walking over rough terrain).
- We head home, perhaps enjoying a second nap when we arrive (as the first was likely to be short).

What happened was more like this:
- Teddy and I have a completely stressed-out, way-too-fast walk, mostly in the wrong direction, from the garage to the Hatch Shell. Because it is in the upper 70s, not the upper 60s as predicted, I arrive hot, sweaty, and cross. It's the Hemp Festival on Boston Common, so the air is not precisely "fresh," either.
- A nanosecond after the stroller quits moving, Teddy stands up and starts to scream.
- I try to keep 25-pound Teddy occupied while wrangling the 31-pound stroller with one arm. He. will. not. nap. He. will. not. sit. down. He. wants. OUT NOW!! The walk ain't happenin'. My colleagues go on without me. They all take either the 3- or the 6-mile route.
- After an hour and a half of wrestling the looks-like-a-baby-human, feels-like-a-baby-gorilla (very heavy with very long, agile limbs) to keep him away from the water (BOAT!), the street (BUS!), the walkways (POLICE CAR!), and every other obstacle around, all one-handed (or one-eyed, the alternative to wrestling the stroller being to keep it within sight, as it has all our gear, my wallet, and the camera on it -- and it's a damned fine stroller, too, that I would not want to lose), I'm found by the lunch caterer, who is relieved to find someone wearing a shirt with the company logo on it. (He's a half-hour early.)
- The caterer graciously agrees to stick around until someone else from the company shows up, so that I don't have to desert the food if Teddy gets completely out of control (he has been perilously close to that state for almost 2 hours).
- Teddy and I get our one and only walk around the grounds while the caterer watches the stroller (and food).
- Some colleagues from a sister company show up (I've never met any of them). The caterer leaves.
- Some colleagues from my company show up.
- Everyone takes their lunches.
- Everyone leaves, leaving me with all the food and a screaming toddler. I inhale a Cuban sandwich while watching Teddy, quiet for the first time in 2 hours, simultaneously gobble a cookie and smear it all over his stroller. I have long-since lost the bag of organic snacks.
- I contemplate killing all those heartless bastards, whether I work with them or not.
- The person in charge of the walk (and the food) for the company shows up. Eventually (long after the caterer was due to arrive).
- Teddy and I leave. The walk back to the garage, following my instincts instead of anyone's directions, takes 10 minutes. Through the Hemp Festival.
- Teddy falls asleep in the car, clutching a potato chip, protesting that it's a "BROKEN CHIP, MAMA!" He stays asleep for the transfer to the living room floor, with only a single, sleepy protest ("HERE MAMA").
- I resolve to never, ever, ever again try any such event without Peter. And maybe just plain never.

Current Location: Boston
Current Mood: crankycranky

Comments

From:(Anonymous)
Date:September 17th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC)

Ye gods, that does not sound

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like a reasonable way to spend Saturday!!!! So sorry, babies.
YoYoMa
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From:katehaney
Date:September 17th, 2006 06:52 pm (UTC)

nope, not so fun...

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and I forgot to mention that his sneakers were hebby hebby shoes, so he was wearing his train slippers... totally unsuitable for the kind of wandering he wanted to do.
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From:occhi_cinesi
Date:September 18th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)

Repeat after me...

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A totally random but brilliant woman once, recently, told me about this thing you do with your mouth, tongue and voice box, all while breathing: Say, "No, thank you, I appreciate this offer, but it doesn't work for me."

And years ago on Friends, when someone asked Phoebe to do something she replies, "No, sorry, I can't." When asked why, she replied, "Because I don't want to."

F*cking Brilliant!

We really need to work on this, really! Is there a class we attend or....?

Sorry, I wish I could have been there to help!
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From:katehaney
Date:September 19th, 2006 01:58 pm (UTC)

no, no, no!

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Do what I say, not what I do. Geez.

To give myself a teeny tiny bit of slack, I do think it's hard to refuse a work muckety-muck. And I did think it would be fun.

I was just wrong. I'm getting more used to that than I'd like.
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From:wendymarques
Date:September 28th, 2006 08:59 pm (UTC)

Yikes

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I'm sorry you had such a difficult day - and I can TOTALLY imagine how you felt as some days I have been there as well (of course, Nicolas is only 23 pounds so the wrestling is slightly easier). But not much easier. Especially with a ginormous (how the heck do you spell that word anyway - not that it is really a word, but I digress) pregnant belly. I am so over the wrestling stage.
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From:katehaney
Date:September 29th, 2006 01:00 pm (UTC)

I can't even imagine...

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I mean, I've got a belly (woe is me), but it's not one I feel any need to protect. And it doesn't ever kick me back.

The wrestling does get mighty old mighty fast. Fortunately, it's a rare occurrence with Teddy. :phew:
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