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05:39 am: Aging & Spawning
I like to think there are some advantages to being an older mother. I seem to be calmer than many of the younger moms I know -- and I know I'm calmer than I would have been when I was more biologically suited to having a child, 20 years ago. I'm more confident. I've had the advantage of witnessing a generation of friends and neighbors raise their children, seeing what seemed to work and what didn't (and especially seeing that each child and each situation is unique, so what worked for one child on one day might well not work on another day or with another child). And I know that all I've seen and all I've read and all I've done myself in the past as a parent will still leave me completely flummoxed. Often.

I like to think that being older, going through fertility treatments, having all the extra testing and care that come with a high-risk pregnancy all gave me greater appreciation for the wonders a body accomplishes in becoming pregnant, carrying a child, and giving birth.

And yet... it ain't exactly a frolic in the meadow, y'know? I have a sore back from sleeping on a crappy mattress. I have residual pain in my shoulder from an old dance injury. I have a bad elbow from knitting too much too quickly after Christmas (and more knitting projects lined up for when the elbow is better, of course). I have what I think is a bone bruise on my knee from a bad fall last week. Carrying around a 26-pound weight doesn't help any of that.

I freakin' hurt. I'm a mom who likes to crawl around on the floor and put together train tracks and play "I'm gonna get you!" and roll around and wrestle. But my body can't always deliver. If I spend the whole day with Teddy, I'm a hurtin' pup by mid-afternoon unless I take breaks. A lot of breaks, in Teddy's view. Because he is tireless. The kiddie kilowatts just keep on comin', even when Mommy's circuit breaker has flipped.

whine, whine, whine.

* * * * *

Happy 25 months and 2 days, Teddy! I can't believe I missed that milestone.

Current Location: Boston
Current Mood: sorewhine, whine, whine
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