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06:00 am: Teddyisms: The Weekend Edition
"Socks and shoes and slippers make my belly feel bad."

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"The baby is three years old. She doesn't have any teeth."

Teddy visited A this weekend. He was very impressed. She's barely a month old, but all babies are three to Teddy.

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I shaved my legs in the bath, so the water was cloudy with shaving cream (I refilled it with clean water before Teddy got in).

"The water is foggy."

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"I want to watch something on 'mand. It will help my boo boo belly."

(on 'mand = on demand)

Ever since we had the stomach flu, Teddy has claimed that things hurt or help his boo boo belly.

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"Babies are magical and beautiful."

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"The pee dropped. I call pee 'dropped' when it comes from my penis."

I think this means he calls pee 'dropped' when he sees it come from his penis. We were in the shower after swimming. (Nope, still not toilet trained.)

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Ever since he saw the John McCain Prank-calls Hillary video, anyone farting or burping is Mr. McCain. He also likes to play "I'm Mr. McCain, you're the woman." He makes a ringing noise, and the designated Hillary has to say "hello?" and listen in increased puzzlement as he makes burping and farting noises. Then he says "buh-bye."


* * * * *

Teddy anthropomorphizes everything. "The floor wants me to go backwards!" "Coop'rate, oil cans!" including his own mouth recently "Shut up! Stop that! I want you to be nice, mouth!"

Except in the last case, I generally reply "it doesn't have ears, Teddy, it can't hear you" or "it doesn't have a brain, it doesn't think anything."

It doesn't work.

This morning, it was "The cell phone wants to be on the floor."

I replied "The cell phone doesn't want anything. It doesn't have a brain. In fact, cell phones suck out other people's brains."

Current Location: Boston
Current Mood: amusedamused
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