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katehaney

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06:00 am: awkward
At a friend's husband's birthday party, I spent a lot of time talking to someone who was enormously pregnant with her first child. She was just lovely; we had a marvelous time (or I think we did; I know I did) talking. Then Teddy had a crisis of some sort and I had to go running off. Shortly thereafter, we left.

Yesterday, I remembered her and how pleasant our conversation had been, and also how lonely it is when you have a new baby. I decided to send a little gift both to maybe make a happy moment for a new Mom and maybe get a chance to rekindle our acquaintance.

Only I'd forgotten her name. So I emailed my friend, who emailed her husband, who emailed me with her contact information. I happily found her gift list on babiesrus.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

Suffice it to say, we do not have even remotely similar views on parenting. Her registry is full of stuff for formula (warmers, pitchers, cans of formula... no boppy or other breastfeeding aids), cutesy character stuff, non-organic stuff, Baby Einstein videos. Oy.

But by then, my friend and her husband knew I planned to send something. It would be extremely awkward for them if they said something to her, only to find out that I hadn't actually done it.

I felt I had to send something. I didn't want to send anything that was on her registry. And I sure as hell don't want to impose my feelings about parenting on anyone else (although of course I believe I'm right; no one sets out deliberately to parent the wrong way, after all). I've seen too many delightful children raised in different ways from what I would do.

I sent a pack of burping cloths that say "Daddies that change diapers change the world," figuring that while it's sexist bullshitake, it might be sexist bullshitake these particular parents need to see. It's on their registry, so I figure they won't see it as condescending and obnoxious, which is a legitimate read on my selection.

:sigh:

Current Location: Boston
Current Mood: blahblah

Comments

[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:August 7th, 2008 12:09 pm (UTC)

gift selection

(Link)
I wish I'd found something like that for this woman. I was looking for something more token-ish (<$20); I'm not generous enough to get a swing. Cheap, cheap, cheap.

Oh well. I hope she appreciates the gesture and isn't motivated or energetic or whatever enough to follow up. Between my plans to move away and our very different parenting styles, I think friendship is unlikely.
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