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06:00 am: Teddy's first day in pre-school
Short version:
He had a great time.
I had a hard time.

We walked Teddy up to the front door of the pre-school, handed him off to a teacher, and left.

Peter immediately started The Talk: "We moved to Longmeadow for the schools.* He's ready for it. He wants to be there. We want him to be there. He's going to be just fine." He was trying to head off The Crying at the pass, 'cause he knew it was coming.

It came. I sniffled the whole way home. My little tiny baby. My sweet little toddler. MY LITTLE BOY is growing up. :sniff: He's in someone else's care 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, after being with Peter full-time his whole life. MY BABY. The little boy that I nurtured in my womb for 41 weeks and at my breast for 38 months. THAT SAME LITTLE BOY is going to school. The one who still wants to be "under" me when he stands to pee (i.e., wants me standing rightupbehindhimsohecanlookupandseeme). The one who sleeps curled up against me and holds my braid instead of a lovey. The one who finds holding a nur the most relaxing, calming influence in the world. He can't hold the teachers' nurs!

Aw shit. Now I'm crying again.

I took the afternoon off to watch movies that would make me cry. I only had time for one, so I picked Big. I figured it had the right combination of humor and sock-it-to-the-parent moments for me. I ended up skimming through it 'cause a couple of important phone calls limited my time.

The second call was his school, telling me how great he was doing and double-checking his name (because he's Eduard, they thought maybe they were misunderstanding "Teddy" and should be saying "Eddy").

I did watch the scene at the end of Big, when Josh goes home to his mother after being missing for several weeks (months? dunno... long enough to land on a milk carton in another scene).


I got my crying done.

We went back early to pick Teddy up, so there would be no chance of his having even a moment of thinking we wouldn't come. When we parked, the older kids were walking back from the playground. We dashed ahead so we wouldn't get stuck behind the group (when Teddy and I visited the school last week, he complained that all the kids in line do shuffle, shuffle**).

Sure 'nough, the group of kids took a loooong time to get to the school.

To our surprise, there was a second group of kids behind the first: Teddy's group ("the downstairs friends"). Teddy caught my eye, then carefully avoided looking at me as he shuffle-shuffled along with his classmates. The teachers led the students to the porch, where they all sat down against the wall to wait for their parents (and to get the projects they did that day in school to take home; Teddy didn't have one). Teddy was one of the first to be brought to the sidewalk.***

The teacher said he had a great first day. :sniff:

I carried Teddy to the car. He twirled my hair around in his fingers as he answered my questions.

Yes, he had a good day at school.

Every other question was answered "I don't know." What he did, what was fun, whom he met, what he ate. "I don't know."

Some details came out later. He learned to button and buckle. It was all fun. He didn't remember any kids' or teachers' names. He ate goldfish (this really surprised me, as the school claims to be committed to nutritious snacks... oh well). He went potty by himself, though a teacher came to help him (from what I can tell, he took himself to the potty "for privacy" and a teacher checked to see if he wanted help, but he didn't).

I swear, I already see changes in his development. 3 hours! Changes! He took himself to the potty this morning, including flushing (though I had to take him back to wash his hands). He's saying please and thank you with less prompting. He wanted to get dressed first thing this morning (he's been clinging to his pajamas lately). He thought about wanting underpants to sleep in last night (ended up opting for a diaper, but it was the first time he even considered underpants).

Holy crap. MY BABY!

* Teddy's in private pre-school, which we could've done in Boston. It would've cost at least twice as much, but we could've done it. But the reason we moved when we did (instead of, say, waiting 'til housing prices stabilized) was to get Teddy into the community before he started school. He'll meet friends at his pre-school who will certainly move on to the Longmeadow public schools with him.
** Shuffle, shuffle is what we call it when someone walks very slowly, particularly if they're being very dramatic about it. This term originated with my father, who gets up to make coffee before he's really ready to be awake.
*** The pick-up routine at Teddy's school requires the parents to wait on the sidewalk or in their cars and the teachers to bring the kids to them.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic


Date:November 19th, 2008 01:43 pm (UTC)

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