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katehaney

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12:52 pm: 30 Days of Truth: Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted
Oy, I'm behind on my truthiness. Sorry.

I'm usually fairly good at maintaining relationships (even before social media, go figure). I have let a few friendships lapse deliberately, because they got to be (or always were) too much. Others have drifted because I didn't want to maintain them enough to do the work.

Hmm. This is harder than I thought.

I guess the closest I can get is those I wanted to let go at the time and now maybe wish I'd kept up with. For instance, I stayed in touch with a number of professors for years, and am no longer doing so (though I did get friended by a high school teacher I never had - his wife was my math teacher - in Facebook, which has been marvelous; he posts terrific music videos). I stopped because I was doing all the reaching out and I got tired of bearing the whole burden by myself. (I suppose describing it as a burden is rather telling, eh?)

The one friendship that emerged that was more mutual is still intermittently lively, but I let the one-way efforts drift until they stopped.

I am curious about how those folks are doing. They're all good people, doing interesting work. But y'know, it just occurred to me I've never even googled any of them (except the schmuck from Oxford, who is easy to find and who periodically pops up in a magazine or something... and I would not want to reach out to him again).

Facebook has reminded me of a whole bunch of people who were once good friends, but those are all somewhat rekindled, so I don't think they count either.

I guess that's it, then.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: soresore
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Comments

From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 6th, 2011 12:42 pm (UTC)

Lost friends

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I could do this one -- all my friends from high school -- all my friends from college -- my oldest post-college friends (Sue and Dick, Barbara, Joan & Harold). I've always been bad at it. Sigh.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 6th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)

have you tried to find them in FB?

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There's always a chance!
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 7th, 2011 02:58 pm (UTC)

Re: have you tried to find them in FB?

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No. Thanks, maybe I'll try. I could phone some of them too, but that takes an effort, a plan, a commitment. And maybe that was what was wrong all along.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 7th, 2011 03:10 pm (UTC)

maybe so

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I like FB in part 'cause it feels like low commitment.
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