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katehaney

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08:31 pm: "I'm afraid of dying"
"I'm afraid I won't be heard. There won't be any more me."

This is what Teddy wakes up thinking about? I thought I had another few years before I had to deal with teenage angst. And I'm a bit baffled as to what to do about it.

I assured him that he had a long time before he needed to worry about his death (and, after some probing, about mine or Peter's). I asked him if he believed in an afterlife or in reincarnation, and he said sadly that he doesn't. He said he wished he believed in the [Greek] Gods, because maybe if he did something really good, they'd grant him a wish and he would wish for immortality for himself and his family.

I told him that I believed that people live on after death in what they do and what they write and in other people's thoughts, which he says he's going to think about.

Oy.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: confusedconfused

Comments

From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 22nd, 2012 04:47 am (UTC)

Oy! Indeed!

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My two older ones never talked death - even when grandpa (who lived nearby and they were fairly close) died when Kyle was five and Justin was three (or at least not very much). But Aaron? Sheesh, that kid can talk about death like no tomorrow. He knows that my parents died when I was young. He's calculated how old Ken and I are and has asked questions about how old my parents were, and how old I was when they died. He notices that his friends have multiple grandparents (both of Ken's parents are gone too), and says that he doesn't want to be 40, because then all of your parents are dead.

It's so hard to explain that our parents dying so young was not the norm... and that we plan on being around for a very long time. But really... I'm always leery of making promises that I can't be positive I can keep. This is when I can understand religion a bit. And I admit that my feelings on heaven and an afterlife were very much shaped when I was 12 - that they aren't based on any particular biblical theory, and that I can't justify them to anyone who is truly religious. But they make me feel better, and it's what I teach my kids.

You've got yourself a thinker there :-). It DOES make for interesting conversations. And just wait until he gets a little older!
Lori
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From:katehaney
Date:April 22nd, 2012 11:32 am (UTC)

Re: Oy! Indeed!

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Oh boy... your situation does make it more complicated, doesn't it? Yikes.

If you're comfortable sharing it, I'm very interested in hearing your thoughts about heaven and afterlife.

If you'd rather keep it private, I totally understand.
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From:swingchickie
Date:April 22nd, 2012 10:32 am (UTC)
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wow! your child is not only super smart, but very, very deep. i think they way you handled it was beautiful.
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From:katehaney
Date:April 22nd, 2012 11:30 am (UTC)

y'think?

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Thanks! On both counts, I guess.
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From:katehaney
Date:April 22nd, 2012 11:34 am (UTC)

I'm always second-guessing myself

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well... often, anyway. But you know that. :)

Thanks for the affirmation -- it helps.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 23rd, 2012 12:13 pm (UTC)
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Long range, the smarter ones are easier, but they sure make the process more challenging! SB has started MM in UU Sunday School. The first week was focused on gay pride, so everybody's happy. Have fun.

YoMaMa
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From:katehaney
Date:April 23rd, 2012 12:49 pm (UTC)

oh good

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on all counts!
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