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02:06 pm: I'm reeling
The news is still coming in from Newtown. Last tally I read was 27 dead, most of them children.

Most of them children.

I. just. can't.

I can't.

I can't make my brain process this.

The news popped up in my Twitter feed just as I was crying about an email I was writing (memories for a memory book for someone who's leaving the company... someone whom I respect and admire enormously who is incredibly kind). So the crying continued, but of an altogether more horrible sort.

I've mostly stopped crying for the moment, but all I want to do is hold Teddy. And I'm afraid I'll just completely lose it when I do.

I can't even imagine the pain and fear the children at Sandy Hook are experiencing, or cantevengothere the parents. I don't want to. I want to keep on being selfish and focus on my child and my family and our feelings and experiences.

This is too big for me.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: scaredscared


[User Picture]
Date:December 15th, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC)

I'm in denial

...and so I am focusing on my child and the issues of mental health rather than what the parents of those children are experiencing. B/c that's where I can't go.

Everyone goes to a different place. Lots on my fb page (so I know, I shouldn't read it) on gun control but not as much on nut job-control. I'm biased, given my family history and guns, but I'm trying to let others go to their place: religion, anger, politics, etc.

We were just discussing when dd was moving out of our bed: we were thinking when she turns 5 (so in two months), she was saying 10 (wha????).... right now, it's never. She'll never leave our little safe nest. That's what just right for me right now.

[User Picture]
Date:December 16th, 2012 08:42 pm (UTC)

I hear you

All I wanted to do was race to Teddy's school, yank him out of there and snuggle him the rest of the day. Thank goodness common sense prevailed. The last thing he needs is an out-of-control and emotional Mom. Frankly, I have had moments when that's the only thing that keeps me together.

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