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katehaney

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06:21 am: We're Muslims?
According to a kid in Teddy's class, we're Muslims because we have no beliefs.

Wrong in so many ways.

Needless to say, we've started what is sure to become a series of conversations about religions. ("Muslims do have beliefs, first and foremost in Allah, which is their name for G-d. Islam is an old and important religion. We are not Muslims, nor do we practice any particular religion, but we do have beliefs. Daddy believes in G-d and reincarnation. Mommy believes in karma. We all believe in the Golden Rule, in being kind, and in lots of other things.")

I'm strongly tempted to call this kid's parents, but I suspect the only effect it might have is to embarrass everyone involved.

And we believe in being kind.

Or, for the geek version of primum non nocere, Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

Current Location: Longmeadow
Current Mood: surprisedsurprised

Comments

[User Picture]
From:swingchickie
Date:December 18th, 2012 11:28 am (UTC)
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not to mention, the kid probably heard it from his/her parents, so you might just be stirring up all kinds of shite if you contacted them.

when i was in maybe 3rd or 4th grade, my school (a catholic one) had a bomb threat. we all had to line up and get outside, and as we were walking quickly one of my classmates said "it was probably someone jewish, they hate catholics". i chimed in with a bunch of other classmates, because i was 8 and a total lemming, saying that yep, the bomb-caller-inner must be jewish. my teacher stopped in her tracks as she was leading us, wheeled around, and hissed, "i'm jewish, and that's really mean. we don't hate catholics, stop it". the hurt and fury in her eyes is something i'll never forget, and i was so ashamed for chiming in.

anyway -- all of that is to say that this kid heard something stupid from somewhere, and s/he will unlearn it (hopefully) in time.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:December 18th, 2012 11:33 am (UTC)

I'm sure you're right

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Though I've heard Teddy spout some completely off-the-wall ideas that most definitely didn't come from me. I would be appalled if he repeated them to some classmate who repeated them to a parent who believed that we'd condoned whatever-it-was. Kids try out ideas all the time. I remember doing that too.

Blargh.
[User Picture]
From:occhi_cinesi
Date:December 18th, 2012 02:08 pm (UTC)

Something I learned from my ss

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is that if you don't put the words and ideas into their head, someone else will. This didn't work for us, since the bm had his ear and put words, feelings, ideas into his head and we had no control/influence over it.

That said, I'm working more and more with dd on what we believe, think, our ideas, etc. but also how we treat others who don't believe what we do and why. I grew up in what I consider a very racist family. But I"m also teaching her that for as much as we believe in what we believe, we honestly don't know everything. Guess that last part will be taught a bit later.

I think the person who gave this muslim idea to the kid was just totally and completely fearful, not angry or purposefully trying to be hurtful. I may be wrong. I hope I"m wrong.

xoxoxooxox
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:December 18th, 2012 03:22 pm (UTC)

could be

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Or it could be some weird construction the kid created without adult input. I've seen that from Teddy too: take a couple of ideas that may seem related but are not, or are related in far more subtle ways than he can grasp on his own, smash them together and create something new and potentially horrifying.

For example, he decided at one point that everyone and everything religious was Jewish. As in "Easter is a very Jewish thing, isn't it?" (Not that he actually said that, but similar logic.)

Edited at 2012-12-18 06:24 pm (UTC)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:December 18th, 2012 05:15 pm (UTC)
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Have you seen this blog? http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/ I haven't read there in a long while, but I got his book from the library and skimmed it a few years back.
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:December 18th, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC)

I have the book

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I suppose reading it is more helpful than looking at it though, eh? Thanks for the link.
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