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katehaney

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06:00 am: freakin' out a bit
This isn't about Teddy, so need for anyone else to freak out.

My doctor wants me to have my gallbladder out as soon as possible (her idea of delaying it is "a month or so"), so as to avoid any Major Episodes, which would involve full surgery with a much longer recovery period. I get that. Even with laparoscopic surgery, I'm worried about how it'll be with and for Teddy. He's not going to understand that he can't jump on Mamama, or that Mamama can't pick him up, or that he can't nurse (probably) in ways he's used to nursing.

(Fortunately, my research indicates that I should be able to breastfeed, which is a HUGE relief. I may have to use alternative painkillers after the surgery, but I can deal with that.)

It'll be two weeks, in all likelihood, that I can't carry him, can't have his full weight on my abdomen (his preferred position for nursing), can't run after him.

That's going to be really hard on both of us.

Not as hard as 6-8 weeks of it, though, so I'm ready to go whenever the surgeon has time. I hope to find out next week.

* * * * *

To me, this surgery represents a lot of what scares me these days... What will happen to Teddy if something happens to me? Peter is a wonderful father. My parents are terrific. Peter's parents are terrific, if distant. I have fabulous friends. But I don't want any of them taking care of my son... not without me.

Current Mood: scaredscared

Comments

[User Picture]
From:occhi_cinesi
Date:February 4th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)

The whole damn thing?

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Your doc wants your gallbladder removed or the little buggers inside it? I suppose you are quite the busy manufacturer of gallstones so the whole damn thing could go. I'm sorry, it does sound scary. I'd like to think that none of my friends are used to surgery; I don't think you are. It does sound like this is a common surgery for those well-trained... and I know I'm well trained to love and care for you before, during and after the surgery. So you can love and care for your son.

You're right, you have great people around you, we're all in this together! And nothing can happen to you, who will raise my child, birth through 17.5 years?

Hug
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 6th, 2006 02:20 pm (UTC)

yep, the whole damn thing

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As I understand it, removing the little buggers is just a short-term solution -- they come back (and if you do it with medication, it takes 12-18 months... egads!).

I have actually had laparoscopic surgery before: for my shoulder and for the endometriosis, so I know it's not a huge deal. I've just never dealt with the minor deal and a toddler.

However, gallbladder removal is the most common abdominal surgery performed, which is quite a relief.

p.s. You've moved back from 18 years -- awesome! A few more weeks, and I'll be babysitting instead. heh heh heh.
[User Picture]
From:wendymarques
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:01 pm (UTC)

I totally understand

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Kate, I totally understand your concerns. I would be feeling exactly the same way - not so much how the surgery would effect me, but how it would effect Nicolas - I think that is totally normal. Kids are amazingly perceptive, so who knows - maybe he will somehow understand that things, at least for a short while, will need to be a bit different.

From my own experience, I really, really, really hope that you can have it done before a MAJOR EPISODE. That was what did me in and made my recovery time that much longer/more painful. That being said, I think I felt "better" (pain-free) about 2 days after the surgery - it was more of a discomfort at that point. I am thinking about you and if you have any questions or want to talk to someone who has been there (at least on the surgery), I'd be happy to oblige!
[User Picture]
From:katehaney
Date:February 12th, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC)

Re: I totally understand

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Thanks. I hope Teddy will understand why the nursing smackdown can't happen for a little while, anyway.

And avoiding a Major Episode would be most excellent. :)
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